I am going to Burning Man this year, and I have mixed feelings about it. This will be my tenth burn since 2001; I last visited Black Rock City in 2012. This experience has changed me, thoroughly; but the years have also changed the city, and the ways we have changed are not always congruent. I’m not sure how well I fit in there any more. I wonder – to what degree was the activating sense of freedom and possibility that ignited my current life pattern an artifact of that moment, rather than an ongoing characteristic of the event? Do I still need Burning Man? Does it still need me?

I’m looking forward to working hard in the dust with my friends. I’m looking forward to camping with AJ. Dancing under the stars, exploring creative art projects, meeting interesting people, finding creative solutions to unexpected problems; I love this world. It will be a good time.

I don’t think that Burning Man still has the power to change my life, because it already did that. I kept on bringing it home, over and over, until I’d rebuilt my life around it. Would the 2016 burn experience have that effect on me if I were coming to it for the first time? I know I’ve changed, and I know the burn has changed, but it’s hard to know which feelings to associate with which changes.